


Emotions Exposed

by ThisIsLitaE



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, Emotional, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Men Crying, Steve Rogers Angst, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Stony - Freeform, Surgery, True Love, arc reactor removal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26338948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisIsLitaE/pseuds/ThisIsLitaE
Summary: As a soldier, Steve Rogers learned to keep his emotions in check. But seeing Tony Stark going in for surgery shakes him. With nothing to distract him, Steve can only wait to see if the man he loves is okay.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 8
Kudos: 79





	Emotions Exposed

Steve Rogers rarely let others see him get emotional. As a soldier, he had been trained to keep his feelings in check, even in the most dire of combat situations. Letting your emotions get the better of you meant a lack of focus on missions, which could ultimately make things worse. For years Steve had watched good men, including his best friend, get injured and die without daring to shed a tear. Captain America always kept his head, which is why the super solider was revered the world over.

Seeing Tony getting wheeled in for surgery changed everything. Steve was able to maintain his cool through the news that the arc reactor keeping his boyfriend alive turned out to be killing him. He knew the surgery to remove the shrapnel was necessary in order to give him as many years with Tony as possible. But the moment Tony’s hand slipped from his, and the billionaire was taken into the operating theatre, it suddenly occurred to Steve that something could go wrong. Given all the extraordinary things they went through together, it was easy to forget that his boyfriend was still human underneath it all.

Without anything to focus on, Steve's mind began running through worst case scenarios. He attempted to shake the reactions provoked by such thoughts, to no avail. Steve found himself blinking rapidly in attempt to keep any rogue tears from escaping, particularly as some of the other Avengers were hanging around.

The super solider had been trained to have more patience than the average man, although that virtue seemed to be failing him as well. He knew it would be hours before any news. Normally during stressful times he liked to run until the worries were replaced by endorphins. But he didn’t dare leave the vicinity in case Tony needed him somehow.

Steve let his memory drift back to the early morning, when he woke up beside Tony. The two of them just took each other in, savouring the moment before Tony had to go into surgery. Hundreds of thoughts were running through both men’s minds but there was a silent understanding not to voice them. Steve just held Tony in his arms, stroking the body he’d grown to love. Staring at his boyfriend’s handsome face helped Steve to be strong.

Unable to take anymore, Steve felt the wetness burning at his eyes. He glanced around at the others, who had all respectfully given him some space. Not wanting to risk being seen in a weak state, Steve took a deep breath and looked around for somewhere private. He tried to appear nonchalant while passing his friends, pretending he was simply going to the bathroom.

He ducked into what appeared to be a meeting room, given the elongated table. Steve paced around the dim room, not even bothering to turn on the light. He kept doing laps around the table until a single tear escaped. He wiped it away and ran a hand through his hair, still trying to walk it off. More tears began to spill down his cheeks until he couldn’t stop the flow. A deep groan of pain came out, echoing throughout the small space. Giving in, Steve sat down on one of the chairs and buried his face in his hands. If he couldn’t stop the sobbing, he could at least attempt to hide it.

Time passed so slowly that Steve couldn’t tell how long he’d been sitting in the room. It was clearly long enough for someone to come looking for him, as he heard the door open. Steve dared a glance to see who it was, hoping it wasn’t immediately obvious he’d been crying. Rhodey sighed as he shut the door, folding his arms over his chest in attempt to mask his own emotions.

“Tony made it through the surgery. They removed all the shrapnel and he’s going to be okay. They said he’d be awake soon if you want to see him,” Rhodey explained, his tone slightly softer than usual. His eyes had a flicker of concern as he took in Steve. “How are you holding up?”

Steve managed a half smile, relieved that Tony was safe. “Getting through it as best I can.”

“No-one is expecting you to be a soldier over this, Cap,” Rhodey commented. While he was closer to Tony, he knew Steve well enough to see when the captain was bottling things up. “Your boyfriend almost died, that’s rough for anyone.”

Steve couldn’t reply, knowing that if he spoke it would release vulnerability again. A lump formed in his throat which he tried to swallow. Hearing Rhodey say the words, that Tony almost died, somehow made things more real. His coping mechanisms were dropping and leaving the room seemed overwhelming.

“Are you coming or not?” Rhodey asked, gesturing to the open door.

“I don’t know if I can be strong, seeing him like that. It just makes me wonder how much time we have left together,” Steve replied, his breath hitching. He held back the tears threatening to come forth once more.

Rhodey shut the door and went to stand over Steve. “You know if you’re not there when he wakes up he’s going to be bugging me.”

Steve sniffed out a laugh, knowing the truth in that statement. “As much I was want to grab every moment, Tony needs me to be his rock. I need to steel myself so I can be there for him.”

“He’s a damn genius. He knows you’re not going to be a robot over this. Hell, his ego will take a hit if you show up completely fine,” Rhodey explained, understanding if a little exacerbated by the captain’s behaviour. “All he’ll want is to see you. And probably some other stuff that I’d rather not scar my brain by picturing.”

Steve stood up and headed to the door. More than anything he wanted to see Tony. He knew that being there when his boyfriend woke up was more important than portraying the unshakeable super soldier.

“Alright, let’s do this.”

Walking to Tony’s room had a surreal feeling to it. The hallway somehow seemed brighter than usual, almost blinding. With each step, Steve’s heart beat seemed to get quicker and louder. He could feel the other Avengers staring at him as he walked passed. A hand gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder, but he couldn’t tell exactly who it was. He was grateful his friends were letting him go first.

Upon entering Tony’s room, Steve took in the sight of his boyfriend in the hospital bed. The thing that surprised him most was seeing Tony so still, given the tech genius was often restless. Even when cuddling, Tony’s hands needed something to do. As he approached the bed, a gentle smile came to Steve’s face. All that mattered was sitting by the bedside until the billionaire woke up.

Steve had never expected to fall so deeply for another man, let alone Tony Stark. Yet in that moment he couldn’t imagine a life without the other man in it. He took Tony’s hand in his own, bringing it to his lips to kiss each finger. Steve’s other hand cupped his boyfriend’s cheek, feeling the stubble graze against his palm. He trailed his fingers up into the wild dark hair, gently stroking the strands. 

Tony eventually stirred and his eyes began to flutter open. He looked around the room, blinking to adjust to the surroundings. Steve felt his heart swell and gave Tony’s hand a squeeze, getting his lover’s attention. Tony smiled and managed to squeeze Steve’s hand lightly in return.

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked as he continued to stroke Tony’s hair.

“About as well as can be expected,” Tony answered with a slightly raspy voice as he shuffled to get comfortable. “I’m alive, aren’t I? You’re very angelic looking in this light, it’s hard to tell.”

“I get to be with you for another day at least,” Steve replied. He attempted to keep the light heartedness going but the tremor in his voice betrayed his true emotion.

“You’re not going soft on me, are you, Cap?” Tony quipped in his regular snarky tone. Then he noticed the tear running down Steve’s cheek and snapped out of it immediately. “Hey, come on.”

“I’m sorry. You’re the one who had surgery and I’m the one crying,” Steve sniffled and wiped his cheeks. “I love you, so much.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Tony adjusted the bed so he could sit up properly and press his forehead to Steve’s. “Besides, if you came in here all happy I’d think you weren’t worried enough about me and then I’d doubt your love. You don’t want that.”

“Rhodes did warn me of that,” Steve explained, slipping an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Then you know it’s true,” Tony said while attempting to put an arm around Steve. Wincing at the pain in his chest, he settled for touching Steve’s muscular arm instead. “If you ever ended up like this I’d be in a bed right next to you having a panic attack or getting pumped due to alcohol poisoning. Either way I’d be messed up because of how much I love you, Steve.”

Hearing the declaration of love, uniquely Tony as it was, opened the flood gates and Steve began to sob freely. He still felt selfish for being upset when Tony needed him, but he knew that his boyfriend understood. It was only with Tony that Steve felt vulnerable enough to let it out. He apologised again for his tears and chuckled as it provoked an eye roll from Tony.

“When I’m all cleared, we’re going on a trip. Just you and me. How do you feel about Argentina? Or do you prefer Paris, with all the artsy stuff?” Tony could already picture himself showing Steve around somewhere new and exotic, without the mission work.

“I’m still getting used to modern day America,” Steve explained, although a vacation with Tony did sound nice. “What about missions?”

“We have plenty of capable heroes on the team and I’ll probably need the rest,” Tony commented, knowing that he would have to convince Steve to give in to his own desires. The captain’s selflessness was a trait Tony found simultaneously sweet and insufferable. “But, since you’re…you, let me put it this way. Your boyfriend, who just escaped death again, wants to grab some happiness and appreciate life with the person he loves the most. Now, I could go by myself but then you’d be denying me the pleasure of showing you new things and making love to you on a private beach somewhere.”

“Come on, Tony!” Steve exclaimed, unexpectedly barking out a laugh.

“More convincing?” asked Tony, running his fingertips down Steve’s arm to grab the strong hand. “You know me well enough to know that I won’t shut up until you agree. I’ll even throw in some fancy new sketching pencils so you can draw me like one of your French girls.”

Steve shook his head at the movie reference that he actually understood. Tony, in all his snarky glory, had the unique ability to cheer him up. He leaned over and lightly pecked Tony on the lips to silence him.

“Alright, we’ll go somewhere. But I’m not getting on a plane without a note from the doctor confirming you’re okay.”

Tony moved to lay back on his pillows, giving a mock salute. “Yes, Captain America, sir.”

For a while the couple just stared into each other’s eyes. Every now and then a stray tear rolled down Steve’s cheek. Tony reached up to brush it away each time. Steve felt reassured as he looked into the pair of beautiful brown eyes. He hoped to be staring into that magnetic gaze for many years to come.

**Author's Note:**

> *Obviously, adjusted the surgery in Iron Man 3 to make it Stony  
> *Was inspired while attempting another fic where Steve is tired of being the "perfect soldier"  
> *Hope you enjoyed the fic, as much as you can "enjoy" an emotional story...  
> *Comments and kudos are always appreciated, should you choose to encourage me.


End file.
